LISTEN UP KIDS IT’S STORYTIME
So when I was a little munchkin, I lived in a pretty shitty part of New York City. My mom, who is a fuckin’ rock star, was putting herself through college and working to give us a better life. But still, I wanted to be a princess, and get away from our mouse and cockroach infested apartment and all the kids who bullied me at school. Every single week, my mom would rent this version of Cinderella for me. I loved it, because it starred people who looked like the people from my neighborhood. I loved it, because Cinderella was bullied and disrespected and she still pulled through. I loved it, because she wasn’t some princess who needed to be saved: she saved the prince by teaching him how people should be treated. I loved it, because even though she had a fairy godmother, Cinderella was the one who knew what she wanted and made it happen for herself. Also, that movie has some of the best fucking costumes and choreography you’ll ever see in a TV film. My mom rented it for me so often, eventually the guys at the rental store just gave it to us for free. And you know what? This movie was a fucking inspiration for me, even through elementary, middle, and high school. I told myself, whenever things looked bleak, “Impossible things are happening everyday.” Guys, I now am going to a highly ranked private university on a fucking full scholarship. Moral of the story? The key to success is working hard, believing in yourself, and watching the Brandy version of Cinderella a fuckton of times.